The key finding
A comprehensive 2025 scoping review analyzing 12 studies found that women experiencing intimate partner violence (IPV) consistently exhibit specific cognitive distortions that profoundly affect their ability to leave dangerous relationships. Researchers identified 12 distinct thought patterns—including self-blame, minimizing violence, normalizing abuse, denying injury, holding onto hope for change, and believing they can “save” their partner—that trap women by distorting their interpretation of the violence they experience. These cognitive distortions operate as psychological barriers that significantly influence the critical decision of whether to stay or leave an abusive relationship.
What the study looked like
This scoping review followed rigorous systematic review guidelines, searching three major academic databases (Web of Science, Scopus, and ProQuest) for all available research on cognitive distortions and decision-making in women experiencing intimate partner violence. The researchers included 12 studies that met their criteria: five used qualitative methods (interviews and observations), four employed quantitative approaches (surveys and statistical analysis), and three used mixed methodology combining both approaches. The review synthesized findings across these diverse study designs to identify common patterns in how women think about and process their experiences of violence. This approach allowed researchers to capture both the statistical prevalence of these thought patterns and the nuanced, lived experiences of women describing their own reasoning.
Why researchers think this happened
The researchers propose that these cognitive distortions function as psychological defense mechanisms that help women cope with the ongoing trauma of violence while simultaneously preventing them from taking protective action. When women blame themselves rather than attributing responsibility to the aggressor, minimize the severity of violence, or normalize abuse as acceptable relationship behavior, they essentially reframe a dangerous situation as manageable or deserved. The “hope of change” distortion and “savior beliefs”—the conviction that love or patience will transform the abusive partner—provide psychological relief from the terrifying reality of being trapped. These thought patterns may develop gradually as women attempt to make sense of contradictory experiences: moments of affection interspersed with violence. By focusing on positive aspects of the relationship or believing they have no other emotional options, women create a cognitive framework that paradoxically makes staying feel safer or more rational than the uncertainty of leaving.
How to read this carefully
This review synthesizes existing research rather than presenting new data, so its conclusions are limited by the quality and scope of the 12 included studies. The researchers don’t specify the total number of women represented across these studies, making it difficult to assess how widespread these patterns truly are. Additionally, the studies likely reflect diverse cultural contexts, relationship durations, and types of violence, which could affect how cognitive distortions manifest. Importantly, identifying these thought patterns doesn’t mean women are at fault for staying—cognitive distortions are consequences of trauma, not character flaws. The review also doesn’t establish whether these distortions cause women to stay or whether staying in violent relationships produces these distortions over time. Correlation doesn’t equal causation, and the relationship is likely bidirectional and complex.
What this means for everyday life
Understanding these 12 cognitive distortions offers important insight for anyone who knows someone in a potentially abusive relationship. If a friend repeatedly makes excuses for a partner’s harmful behavior, minimizes concerning incidents, or expresses certainty that things will improve despite ongoing patterns, these may be cognitive distortions rather than accurate assessments. Rather than expressing frustration at seemingly irrational decisions to stay, recognizing these as trauma responses might help friends and family offer more effective, compassionate support. For professionals working with domestic violence survivors, this research underscores the importance of gently addressing these thought patterns in counseling. For women themselves, learning about cognitive distortions can be a first step toward recognizing when thoughts may be protecting an abuser rather than reflecting reality—though leaving remains complex and dangerous, and should involve professional support and safety planning.